One Month...

Hi beauties!

First, I have to say THANK YOU all so much for your kind and encouraging comments after my last post. I was really struggling and have put so much pressure on myself since I'm only 31 days out now from the competition (GULP!). I was feeling so defeated since I'm not seeing the change I want in my physique and don't want to stand out as "that girl" on stage. You know, the one everyone is thinking, "What is she doing here?". I may or may not have burst into tears yesterday thinking it was a mistake trying to do this on my own without a trainer and that I wished I had started contest prep a month or two earlier to give myself more time and not feel so stressed out. We all know stress doesn't do much for fat loss...

...However, your words/comments gave me a giant "booster shot" and I woke up this morning feeling soooo much better and ready to forge ahead! I woke up to a new day and a new attitude! I can't change the past and realize that all the "what ifs" and "if only" thoughts don't change a darn thing, so all I can do is finish out these next 31 days S-T-R-O-N-G and remember to have fun!! I can't change the past 3 months and can only focus on what actions I take toward my goal during the next month.

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I've been at a plateau for weeks now, but maybe my body just needs to settle in to this weight, which consequenly is the lowest I've weighed my entire adult life, including high school. Perhaps my body will give me an unexpected drop before the competition. I'll find out in 31 days. Even if I don't feel I'm 100% ready on the day of the show, you've all reminded me that I can still go through with the experience so that I know what to expect in the Spring. You can bet this won't be my last competition. I'll just look at this competition as a "trial run"... :)

Moving right along...

I got my altered bikini in the mail yesterday!! I was so nervous to try it on, especially because it came in a package no bigger than my hand HA! If you remember, I had to have the top custom-made because the "one size" top that comes standard with the bikini covered about 1/4th of my boobage HAHA! The DD top I received yesterday will work just fine. (THANK YOU, JESUS!) The "girls" will be covered and Hubbs will let me out of the house in it. (You should have seen his face when I tried on the first one. He was like, "Oh, no, no, no! My wife is NOT leavin' the house in that.... But, um, you can wear it at home anytime"...HAHA! Men!

I modeled my new bikini for Hubbs today- heels and all- and I think he approved. It was hard to tell at first since he didn't say much. Then again, his jaw was on the floor. I think he approves, though, because he's been chasing me around all day like a 16-year boy old. In all seriousness, though, my husband is the SWEETEST, MOST WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE husband ever! He always gives me his honest opinions and suggestions and is always my #1 biggest fan. He makes me feel like I can do anything and having him believe in me means everything to me.

My #2 biggest fan/cheerleader is my sister, Kelleah (pronounced Kelly) and she is flying in from Texas to visit me this weekend! I'm so excited and can't wait to have her here! She is two years younger, but I look up to her SO much. She is such a light in my life and I love spending time with my "scissor"! She arrives tomorrow afternoon and stays until Sunday morning and Hubbs is taking off Friday so we can do "Fall Festival" stuff.

I wish I could give you all a huge, Texas-sized hug for your support! I know I haven't met any of you in person, but my heart really does smile every time I hear from you. I'm sorry I can't comment back- I shoulda gone with Wordpress so I could at least email you my response- but don't forget I have an e-mail address: texasgunslinger@hotmail.com that I can always respond to as well!

Love, T

Question:

1) What goal or challenge are you currently pushing through and seeing to the end?